The mountain can only be tackled a step at a time. Most people look at the huge journey/project and never take a step. But it’s all about bringing it down into small chunks. Have a 500 page book? Read 10 pages. Need to learn a 10 hour video tutorial, just do 20 minutes. Step at a time. Suddenly progress is happening.

As for the youth thing, I remember before I got into cable and broadcast TV, I did public access. It was some of the most creative times I’ve had. No worries, I just kept creating. Bad stuff. Good stuff. Everything. I did not care. When your career ramps up, it’s hard not to second guess every step. The people who do great are the ones who just keep putting stuff out there. Bad stuff. Good stuff. It takes rhythm and it takes doing it often. Then it’s not so jarring to do something, you are so used to doing it.

I always advise people..just do a segment…just a part. And then continue. After a week or two you suddenly have made so much progress. And do it now..not next Monday.

And also produce stuff. ANYTHING. Get you, and your work, out into the world. There are people sitting back, reading stuff, commenting on other people’s stuff, sharing other people’s stuff. And then there are people actually putting stuff out there, helping to shape the collective world of creative arts. Taking steps, while creating a legacy, a body of work, is where it is at.

Well finally I got the ball rolling.. I’m still in fear for the size of the mountain in front of me.. all the stuff to learn.. am I committed enough to follow it all through? It’s such a gamble and involves investing so much money in gear.. dragging my feet sometimes feels like the most rational impulse in me.

But what I find most interesting is.. the goals I’ve had since I was a kid.. all the dreams.. they are here with me, supporting me, as I march on forward..

I think its true that so many of the goals we set out, especially the ones that we put off for another day.. serve more of a psychological purpose then anything to do with reality as conventionally understood.. They are like a safe place inside of which we don’t have to face whatever is bothering us about our current existence.. and sometimes the trouble with actually going after them is.. we loose our escape.,, or I mean that’s the threat.. You want to do this thing that is so awesome.. but when you set out.. maybe you’ll discover that it isn’t awesome at all.. or the skills and talent you need to achieve them.. God.. do you even possess it?

When I was a kid just trying to learn visual arts stuff.. what I’d say is “I don’t give a crap if this work is any good, just that doing it will make me better.” Not having the goal to make great art, but to be a great artist.. This way there was no risk of failure.. so all the time and energy and life you gave it.. all the blood sweet and tears.. no matter what happened.. it would not be risked.. and sometimes its the risk.. that once it gets too big.. you’re not even able to have the dream..

So I’m trying to take the tact now. Every day I open up Apple’s Motion.. and work on a scene.. on a something or other,, Try and learn the program a little more deeply.. and photoshop and illustrator to.. and when I’ve had enough.. when frustration gets too much.. I leave it alone.. go do something else. Often this will mean struggling in Cinema 4D to try and learn to do some basic modeling.. and finally… finally.. I’m getting so I can move forward without the tutorials..

So what’s motivating me, what’s exciting me.. is a combination of.. “look how fast I’m getting better with these tools and this craft” and “holy crap.. there’s something interesting going on in this work”

A couple weeks ago I was trying to learn to create Drum and Bass Music.. and I was procrastinating projects that involve taking studio productions and trying to work out how to produce them live.. and what I’m realizing is.. though I need to achieve those goals.. What’s really going to differentiate myself from other sound people will be the visual work.. will be this video / animation / motion graphics work.,. It’s the packaging / presentation after all.

I guess what I’m trying to get at is.. that even our impulse to procrastinate is not a bad thing.. That there’s a reason for every feeling and thought in our heads / beings.. I think what’s important is not to discipline our selves against them.. but to enable them.. the more our whole being is on the same page.. the greater our potential will be..

And I think if what we are doing is putting goals off for psychological reasons.. it’s often to try and protect us from the fears we have of the voice of the unconscious coming at us.. when what we probably ought to be doing is trying to embrace those voices.